Pushing through

Yesterday’s stint on the wall was a ‘pushing through’ day. I was amazed how after just two weeks away from the routine of training crimp endurance and ‘big day on the Ben’ endurance, how much I’d lost. I needed to put my body through some pain to get back to where I was fitness wise. The north face was feeling decidedly moody again with dark swirling thundery clouds and a strong wind. Wet holds have not been too much of a problem on this route so far, but the humid air was drawing every little seep out of the rock and made a link through the lower crux impossible. 

Some good links still occurred though - still learning more about the sequence, feeling like I’m getting close to understanding how to climb the route and generally being inspired and really happy to be spending more time among these cliffs.

Things are a bit fluid now. More time working on the moves and a little more training to be in 100% perfect condition would still yield some improvement on the physical side yet.

But psychologically I feel that I want to lead this route now. A fall from the end of the crux is possible for sure. But only if I make an incorrect judgement leaving the shakeout before it. This impending moment is weighing on my mind. Ticking... like a clock. I wouldn’t say I dread it. In fact I look forward to it more than anything. It’s what I am looking for - so I get it...

I’m at a point where my thoughts on the lead are beginnng to go round in circles in places, building up pressure where there needn’t be any. I want to lead it, I’m nearly ready to lead it, so I will lead it as soon as the right time arrives.

That might not be anytime soon as the current humid conditions look like continuing as far as the forecasts go. More work on the shunt in bad conditions will do no harm.